For a part, in an interaction, people's behavior and judgment is conditionned by the image you present.

If you flinch, if you are unassuming, weak, if you don't trust yourself, people will tend to despise you, to manipulate you, to crush you, to discard, to disrespect, to abuse you, at best they will feel pity for you.

While if you show self confidence, if you display strength and faith in your opinions, your acts, and your appearance, if you are autonomous and adaptable, then people will probably respect you, they will help you and appreciate you.

That's a fact we are always more attracted by assertive and charismatic persons than by lurking and fearful ones.

And i think such mindsets also affect any situation in a life, even when other humans aren't involved, the world gives you back depending on the degree of conscious positivness with which you apprehend it.

Tell me, life is an illusion and we decide what we want to see.

Sometimes i feel i could love anyone if i was given the chance to get one, only one, that will open to me, one to whom i could speak my discoveries to and get excited about, or get criticized for, just get an honest and loveful debate of opinions, one whom i would be motivated to fetch money (and the dog reference is not innocent) to buy sweets and stuff, and travel tickets that i don't seem to care for myself alone in that still happy life of scarcity, one to buy into my stories and get in the van with me and burn accross my own world as a conscious and decided acolyte, only to push me back and shove me by the sleeve, grab me by the waist, jump on my back and tell me where to go to glide on the path of her own world, be my guide for that time, wisper me dreams, and receive my either kind or spicy comments.

Then i spend time with the nicest of people, and i realize i can't stay too long with those, with some, when the way becomes uneventful and flat, and it's just a drag to carry them along trying to entertain them and show them the beauty of simple things, pieces of grafitti or debris of leaves, when too kind or too shy nothing comes out of the mouths, they and i watch the game, silent and motionless, until i got itchy to climb up the stairs and get another point of view so i separate a little, i put some distance, only keeping a tenuous line to get back some time later, and they watch me nice when i step up again, and i watch them nice commenting on the new marvelous things i saw, but the picture doesn't hit and no comment, no idea, no story, no ingenious piece is added to the dream, the incensed illusion, so quickly we get grounded, and when boredom sligthly appears i ask that we move, because nice people would never take decisions for themselves and drag you in their wake for a quest of adventure and improbable encounters.

We all need "somebody to shove" us, challenge us, and show us a path of wonders that our own mind alone can't find, i need that too, please reveal yourself.

No excuses

... to keep people away...

that may be a shock

everyone drifts along the same stream

but not in the same craft.

(Some details :
I haven't slept four hours that night
My glasses are broken from the many basket balls i took to the face
the two posters are from a 2000 japanese animation series called FLCL
On the wall is the bass i used to play in my first band
On the door are pinned angry letters from my neighbors
Obviously i haven't shaved for several weeks)