Antagonism of perception practical and aesthetic

"If you were thiner, you won't exist!"
Am i really ill at this point?, the persons who surround me seems to have different pragmatic and aesthetic criteria than myself; the fat for the animals is useful to survive during compelling fasting periods du to a lack of food or hibernation, but for humans, also part of the Nature, in this times of abundance of provisions, it is practically useless to have a layer of fat on the body, this only exhaust us and slow us, we become less enduring, less athletic, less dynamic when we are overweight, therefore it is rightfully and for the entirely practical part that i'm glad to be thin, a thiness which i don't cultivate, my body represent my way of life and my personality, i need to be lively and passionate, to spend energy, to move freely, my body adapt himself and is the image of my way of living;
So, are all these criticisms due to jealousy?! because thinness is for sociéties a characteristic of beauty, but particularly for women, so being a man am i really perceived as "ill" like in having a sickly body, being too thin; does the perception of people around me could be correct, honnest?! and am i really slender though i don't see it?! or their gibes are only jealousy to confort them in their own bodies, or this is simply a difference of views aesthetic and practical?!; anyway, their remarks annoy me because the fact i was thin was the only point i tolerated in my appearance.

(i know this photo is obscene, but it illustrates prefectly this post, a friend of mine took it by himself without request probably an attempt to prove me i am too thin)

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes

Dream

I dreamed of an encounter with a girl wearing glasses and black smoothed hair into a garden with sparkling nature and sumptuous outdated buildings, she addresses me after I picked up and threw a pink acorn (those were scattered across the area, surrealist detail, surprising and heady).
First frightened not knowing what to say I started to panic, then, guided by my heart i described with passion how I liked to wander in this place; She was smiling and respondent, the bag at his arm which was, i supposed, containing several books and his simple, dark-colored clothes drawn me, but I left her to continue this walk with a friend; after a few steps, with the impression of having torn a piece of myself in this flight, I impulsively decided to come back and calmly talk with this girl; when I asked her if we could meet again my esteem get into ecstasy as I saw she was smiling to me while holding me out a paper and a pencil.

Dream

"I was in a car with my father who was driving and another person I could not identify but I had the certitude to know; we didn't see anything through the windows it seemed to me that it was the night or very dark and very thick clouds hiding all of the sunlight; the car radio was playing a compilation of stoner rock music that I listened at this time; as usual it is a veiled attempt by me to try to share something that is a part of me, which pleases me and move me; after a while, my father get irritated and eventually violently criticized this music; I could see he had controling himself until now and the words he used were more rough as his rage towards my rock n roll had grown up along the trip; Feeling attacked i strongly defend myself, and I included in my tirade this other person who traveled with us and even the whole world, accusing them of having lost the flame and being dead inside; but then with more vehemence my father told a story of his youth in which his dreams were destroyed when at a concert and while he was surfing on the crowd, this one slipped away, not supporting him, he broke his bones; confronted to a such horrible story all was left for me to swallow my sermon and cut out the music.
I was wrong, he was right. "

Memory for when i'll be somewhere else

Ugly and nonchalant Basketball

Birds in the early morning

Who could imagine there will be so many birds chirping the morning in the middle of the city.

A Reasoning for the well-being of everyone

We should have principles who are ideas and not acts (like values of honesty, respect, rather than beliefs that have lost their meaning and are only there to enslave us like : "you should not eat pork "or" what is big is ugly ", though each one of us should seek history behind all beliefs we're in); we should build a philosophy of life that would be there to help us act and take the right decision for our well being in any situations, with the respect of The Matter (and we're made of Matter).

My interest through Sharing

I always communicate by relying on my feelings, which is the abstract or ideas, my own perception of the world around me and it definitely can not be put in question or criticized, it is a vision that belongs only to myself. Many people prefer for their communications speaking about facts, what they have seen on the News on TV or heard on the radio or read in a newspaper, if we want to fall even lower we can mention the gossips in the neighborhood, shallow talks by a too "down to earth" humanity, but all this remains facts, there is very little analysis and little knowledge that I would call interesting (obviously on this point it's my subjectivity who made me write this); So if I want to be fully satisfied through a communication I have to develop contacts with people who, as me, think and talk thanks to their feelings; People who naturally function like this are probably rarer than the average. I take pleasure in honest discussions, by developing extended ideas, by discovering different perceptions or in agreement with mine, it's this way I really have the impression to gain consciousness, knowledge , to evolve, and not losing my time in a social contact.

Cold (Dover serie)

Don't hold on to them
Don't you fall for them
'Cause they won't be here forever
Don't do today
What you can do tomorrow
Don't ever forget
Don't you play with this
'Cause they won't be here forever
Don't do today
What you can do tomorrow
I'm not cold anymore
I have learned
You better go and take with you
All of you sorrow
Let it out

Dover Cold lyrics

Angelus (Dover serie)

I feel so much sorrow on my skin, on my skin
I feel so much sorrow on my skin, on my skin
With everybody gone, don't you get sick alone?
I wish you were at home, I wish you didn't go
I feel so much sorrow on my skin, on my skin
I feel so much sorrow on my skin, on my skin
With everybody gone, don't you get sick alone?
I wish you were at home, I wish you'd never go
I'll wait till you wash my blood,
I'll wait till you wash my blood,
I feel so much sorrow on my skin,on my skin
I feel so much sorrow on my skin,on my skin
With everybody gone, don't you get sick alone?
I wish you were at home, I wish you didn't go
I'll wait till you wash my blood,
I'll wait till you wash my blood.

Dover Angelus lyrics

Green (Dover serie)

Look for the way to find out air
We've spent too many tears to wash the earth
Look for the way
We've spent too many tears no life no air
Look for the way to find out air
We've spent too many tears harvest the earth
Look for the way
We've spent too many tears no life no air

Dover Green lyrics

Sick (Dover serie)

No one's gonna make it happen sick girl
no one's gonna do a thing for you
don't you realise you don't belong here
No one's gonna do your thing for you
No one's gonna make it happen sick girl
No one's gonna play the game for you
don't you realise you don't belong here
No one's gonna do your thing for you
And I woke up
and he was there
oh! This life is over now
I don't need death
I need light
sick girl

Dover Sick Girl lyrics

Thought Faillure

The people I find beautiful and those considered as beautiful by society annoy me because they always remind me how much I hate myself. If only I could stop giving my perception of things to others, of course everyone does this but in my case it's too disabling.

Speaking of "artistic" creation

When we are at peace in our life, that the well-being fill on our bodies, we don't seek to release it, we live it, this is why we don't create from happy feelings, the strong emotions that lead to the creation, to liberation are mainly related to sadness or anger.
Someone who feel good won't have the need to separate from his emotion, he will keep everything for him;
Some may seek sometimes to exalt "love" because it is a strong feeling though entirely oriented toward one person, but few are honest and "love" has become a cliché.
Happy people do not need an outlet.