A Proof

The feelings we may have for someone are lost, useless and painful when they lead to no sharings; Sharing informations makes them useful but not less painful because feeling for someone means that one wants the person at his side, a sensual sharing can provide pleasure, but won't provide matter for a lasting relationship; The strongest feelings I can feel start with an intellectual sharing then it is transcended and lets me see the beauty in everything; But, how to tell someone what one feels, our feelings are so versatiles, people use the simple word "love", now debased, their emotions are trapped in a stereotype that means nothing anymore, but refusing to limit my feelings and seeing them greater, even infinite, I have no way to express them, they are here, they overwhelm me, but nobody can tell, because our feelings only belong to ourself and if I refuse the means commonly used to reveal them then they will remain for my own appreciation and will continue to devour me from inside; These unexpressed emotions towards other human beings are not, in my case, immured by prosaic words, but girded in my own self, serenely destroying me as I grow older; If only I could have a revelation that would bring me proof that my feelings would not be used against me through mockery or intended to nothingness, then yes, i'll dare and i'll say what will be my profound and pure truth: I love you ...

Match of Moods

Depending on the people with whom I am, I can be either exuberant and talkative or then totally retiring, not saying a word, simply judging the situation and inwardly reasoning; I believe that this second state is due to my inability to simulate my emotions and who I am, if I can't enter the game so I prefer to put me back, almost disappear and be an observer; On the other hand if I am with the right person, the one who makes me feel completely safe and has a compatible character with mine then is created an incredible chemistry, I become voluble and prolix, I flutter and play with things around me without noticing the glares from others, a person who joins my temper give me an indestructible confidence and I share without restraint; With such a person I feel that our moods match, our emotions are exalted and glorified, and then we can share true moments of pure happiness.

Change and Adapt

One can only speaks of what he knows, i'm not here to tell stories, the only thing a human can really know is himself (because all he sees is an interpretation of his mind, and all humans interpret a same thing a unique way), and i think i'm losing it, i lose hope, i lose the flame! That's an old thinking, i have to be determined, i have to fight for what i want, i have to say, i have to climb on ladders, i have to voice it and face the opposition, "Hello world! i'm not perfect, but i have things to give for those who know how to hear me." Nature is complex, we are made of an infinity of caracteristics, and we can, along the way, lose or gain pieces, and we change path in an instant, we change the views of us, we change the way people around us see us, and there is no good path, we just have to appreciate what we can have, we can build abilities to reach what we want, and some other things we have no control on, we have to learn to accept it, change views, change path, and enjoy the new possibilities (example : when aging we please to different persons); we are drawn to metamorphisis and adaptation, each one is painful but we have the power to shift our points of view, we can see outside the spiral, and we can adapt to our own; those changing are fast, though brutal, that's why we have to keep a strong mind, and stay aware that changing path is not good or bad, it's only different and the pleasure that we can take lay on our sole mindset.

I feel i change constantly, i feel i doubt, but if i won't try to stretch my hand towards the glow that soothe my mind, i will be tormented for ever, i have to try and adapt, nothing is a success, nothing is a fail, all is experience and knowledge, we have to know what we need, crave for it, and respectfully walk to it, and be sure that a change of path isn't an abyss to wither in, by a twist of the reason we'll find new marvelous things to experience; some will discard me, some will accept then discard me and some will accept me, the time is short, why living in fear, hey guy! just enjoy the wonders on each new paths, change and adapt and live.

Third Eye

When he walks the path of the sun's grave, his feet dragging on the dust, like if he wears lead boots, we can see the marks of his endless journey in wrapping malice; All around the hearts are dry and the tongues are sharp as thorns, everybody's laughing, filling the air with fetid warmth, they wave their hands and point at their jackets, they have a tasteless rainbow smile and use it to pollard their way through success, cutting flesh and muscles... and dreams; The walker only see one spot in the fade distance, he finds his will in his inner knowledge, the road is long and his body is slowy leaking on the ground but he knows that at the end the deliverance will be unraveled by the steady opening of his third eye.

I fled Happiness

I fled happiness... twice or more... i had opportunities to encounter beautiful minds, but i run away from my shadow in their eyes, i went to locations without thinking, i numbed my thoughts and i failed; there was persons who saw me in this fog of unconsciousness, they dared to make a step and pulled my scary mask, i glanced to their illuminating proposal of redemption, then my brain planned perfection, i saw angels falling from the sky, i saw life and his curves, i saw a choice to be different, a choice to act until hiding; they were arms wide open, these smart unselfish gems; and me, like a fool, a lost soul, i pictured a moth scorching his wings on a fire; i had chances to live and to be different, i had chances to be saved from myself and my boring existence... but i fled... these colored eyes will haunt me forever as the reflect of my damnation. ......I fear i'm gonna do the same mistake again..... ....... and again.....

I'm sure of it now.... ..... i want to see you.

Black caramel fragments pinch of salt

Here's something on me i had a revelation this night; I will never believe that the chocolate could have a so neat effect on my metabolism, some minutes after ingestion of an half of a chocolate bar, i felt the need the spend energy quickly and drastically, i felt empowered, i needed to run and jump like a baby goat;
I wonder if chocolate acts as much on everyone, maybe it's depending on the morphology and the physiology; The black is the one who condenses the most energy, i should eat dark chocolate each time i need to go out of my cage for a social interaction... or maybe not, i'll become obese.

"I" is someone else

CORRECT

UGLY

It stings as he lays down on his square of purple cloth; His occiput rest like on a stone and send flashes for distraction;
Soon his mind begins to sail, and as he travels through tortuous dilemmas his body get warmer compeling him to move, denuding his meager protection and occupying the space; Each evening his sensitivity touches the fire of torments, his flesh equally pespires and convulses; It requires a dive in the icy air of the nigth to recompose him in a whole, formless and crossed by spasms; The head between the elbows, the brow on the cold metal, he'll recover the sight, and will wait tomorrow to catch a pretending rest; It lacks a magnet to keep the pieces together, unless that comes all at once the hope for a bony hand.

There is only proofs of the dissolubility of each one of us, we are all beautiful and ugly at the same time in a same entity, we are all different at each second and we have no control on that, being aware of this is one thing, tolerate it is way more difficult.

City under the rain (today was a hot sunny day)

I want the world to give away, i want the rats to drown, i want them in their boxes, full of fear, melted faces in the intermittent crude light of the strong bolts hiting the floor.
I am hypnotized, standing like a divinity above the roofs, streams of pure water slipping along my bare feet. For once in my life my chin is up and my eyes are bright, the angry sky pours a curtain of needles, the streets are washed of these filthy humans, and i delight the dance of the swirling dust. My veins are bitter, this fresh ablution coating my entangled body rises up my spirit, i'm beyond and i'm different, nature gives me the peace i bruised my fist for, my blood will be drained and it's all i wanted, sweet rain, sweet lover, i prayed for you through endless nights, here it comes!
The junk of the city is a chaos of black and grey, and twinkling glimmers, that paints the perfect wish of an anarchist. The trembling windows, the molested leaves, the slamming doors, the damp creatures, the racing clouds, the rusty crumbling happiness imitation... , the love... , my love... gnawing my inner fibres, all is going in the plug of oblivion, and i'm here to watch the end comming while the crawling ones will drink their shame till they vanish.
Only pretty shapes will stay scatered on the sidewalks. It's my luck... i learned to swim!

A bad communication! Up to me.

A woman speaks to a man; she is working to assemble a sandwich, the man is sitting in an armchair in the living room; they can hear and speak through the wide opening between the two rooms; the conversation becomes more honest as they discover one each other, all seems well between them but they just met a few time ago; the woman begins a long monologue
about what she feels, she is always busy and speaks without looking at the man directly;
as she has finished, she approaches with a plate of food always confessing with sincerity and gentleness; at the final and clumsy moment, as she stops in front of the man, a word get stuck in her throat, she finds that he is asleep; she puts the plate down, then kneels, gazing at him lovingly while caressing his shoulder ....

How can she feels liking at a time like that?!

I don't understand this scene! And if i was the girl I would feel angry and deceived; revealing what's on my heart to someone ... and this one falls asleep! What a lack of communication! This kind of situation gets on my nerves, why the man didn't say he was tired, he needed to rest and so the discussion could have been resumed with full attention later.
No, instead he prefers to play the hypocritical in order to not appear this or that in front of this pretty girl and ultimately he fells asleep like a worm, and she accepts it!! nonsense!! In this state i see the man as a jerk and the girl as an ingénue.
For me it's a failure to communicate, and I don't understand that kind of situations, I don't tolerate them!

What's worst is that these types of scene are plethora in films and people now think it's normal! Sorry but to me it isn't!