Here is more to save us all

"The mind unconsciously loves problems because they give you an identity of sorts."

"Problems means that you are dwelling on a situation mentally without there being a true intention or possibility of taking action now and that you are unconsciously making it part of your sense of self. You become so overwhelmed by your life situation that you lose your sense of life, of Being. Or you are carrying in your mind the insane burden of a hundred things that you will or may have to do in the future instead of focusing your attention on the one thing that you can do now.

When you create a problem, you create pain. All it takes is a simple choice, a simple decision : no matter what happens, I will create no more pain for myself. I will create no more problems. Although it is a simple choice, it is also very radical. You won't make that choice unless you are truly fed up with suffering, unless you have truly had enough. And you won't be able to go through with it unless you access the power of the Now. If you create no more pain for yourself, then you create no more pain for others. You also no longer contaminate the beautiful Earth, your inner space, and the collective human psyche with the negativity of problem-making."

The Power of Now

All Problems are Illusions of the Mind

"If you found yourself in paradise, it wouldn't be long before your mind would say "yes, but...." Ultimately, this is not about solving your problems. It's about realizing that there are no problems. Only situations -- to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the "isness" of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with. Problems are mind-made and need time to survive. They cannot survive in the actuality of the Now."

The Power of Now

Turn the tide (in the end a letter to myself)

There was that photo of me on the internet, and someone commented nicely, asking what's beneath the (attractive?) look, i was careful, was it a sincere comment, was it a trick to make me fall, i don't want to feel through my ego, but still i thought to reply politely, i wrote a little text to present myself and sent it right away, then i read me again, and i faced my so common negative conditioning, it struck me instantly, all those years i had presented me like that, beating on me with a saddening tone, describing ingeniously my ugliness and my lack of talent, i was such an unconscious man, and i questioned all those years why i was feeling alone and different, why no one wanted to know me, i was wrong and it's not surprising people stay away from such negativity, yeah because like that person with the nice comment, people came to me sometimes, and stupidly, unconsciously i was the one sending them back where they came, and on the principle to protect myself i created my own lonely self, i isolated and tried to convince myself that even if something was wrong with me i had to take pride in my seclusion, that i was different and unaccepted, i see that now with new eyes, i see where i was wrong in my beliefs, it struck me in that letter, that i had wrote mechanically, following my conditioned primal emotions, what i felt seemed real, but if i reasoned it, it's based on false beliefs and so has no need to exist, that self loath, that protection, the feeling that i can be rejected and fooled, and that i will break, in the end i'm only rejected because i did everything to be, but if i act nicely and confident, i'm sure now i will have good feed backs, and everyone can feel good about me, and me feel good about myself, facing that letter i wrote, i saw the uselessness of my paterns, and it's time to change because now in my mind it has no reasons left to exist. I apologized to the person and set back the discussion on a more positive level but still true to who i am, because now i can be strong as my creeds turn on the positive side of my own life.

"The inability of humans to free themselves from dominance of the mind and live in the present is the root cause for misery in the world."

The things that you dread can actually never touch you, NEVER,
you fear because your conditioning makes you project and so you trigger for yourself feelings that things can touch you but if you think about it, rationalize it, you'll notice that it can't,
(someone can say you're ugly [ or it stinks, or that music is awful, or that texture is unpleasant, in fact anything that is processed with our senses, but in a negative way], that's the opinion of one insignificant person, and see, your face is unchanged [and you can decide that you love the smell, you love the music and that you love the texture, for yourself], words don't change who you are (or who you decide you are), we have to realize that, and why placing the opinions of others above our own opinions, it will be incoherent, your feelings depend only about what you think is important, and if you think the most important is to accept (and finally love), even that unconscious person, then you won't let yourself be touched by negativity, and negativity is always coming from a dread about the exterior, our perception of the outside world, if we and our body were alone in the void, with nothing and no one, there won't be no judgements, no comparisons, and so no fear at all, no negative thoughts, you can reach that peaceful place inside you, everyone has it, inside, it's called the inner Being, it's our real self)
and so you're unchanged, nothing can change the attitude you decide to take for yourself, in the end you understand that it's your choice, and so you can choose to always see life positively. Stop projecting!

(complement : and when you reach that self confidence, you don't have to got along with people that are poisonous for you, you can accept they exist, but then it's your choice to fill your life with positivity and fitting people.)

Ego point of view : might brings confidence

Being point of view : confidence brings might

-

Ego : little (fake) sense of self (based on comparisons and judgments to set "inferior" and "superior")

Being : full consciousness allowing unconditional love

Confidence : knowing that one's own happiness only depends on oneself (therefore capacity to act in any circumstances for one's own happiness) (inward)

Might : attraction, charisma, power, impact on others and the world (outward)

My feminine sensitivity is expressed in the appreciation of arts and various creations in the sense that i prefere imagination, subtlety and poetry rather than logic and technicality.

(probably my left brain is more evolved than the right)

Being positive is grasping beauty and depth, even in sadness and dramas.

Men are attracted to women that make them feel more masculine, that is more powerful (abilities, prowess, talent),
and women are attracted to men that make them feel more feminine, that is more loved (understood, desired).

Men want recognition, Women want adoration.


(But beware and still remember that satisfaction through this, is only a work of the Ego, if you're strong in your being you don't need that kind of reassurances)

(Comment written for "Personal Misbehavior")

"My point in this post is noticing that i function like a woman on the matter of connecting with the other gender, i focus on an emotional and intellectual bond first, like most women do naturally, in opposite to men who choose first on appearance and sex appeal, but i despise choosing like men do generally because it can so easily lead to using the other, at first they are all loving enjoying fully touch and intimacy with a girl they think is attractive, but as soon the relation must go farther and they quickly discover that beneath the pretty shell the personality, the values, the mind doesn't match, men just turn away and sabotage the relation, leaving the woman feeling used, tricked and that they were only here for the sex, which in the end was true, so if you want a better lasting relation you must consider mind connection first which i do, (which is the women's way to do, generally), the problem is that women want to feel desired instantly (because it's the old system and everyone is used to this one), so in fact women who are generally attractive are those who are the most used and let down, so also women are mostly attracted to those who make them feel more feminine so those who desire them in a sexual primal way, so they tend to get attached with men that will leave them after they get the shallow part of a relationship which is physical intimacy, and then people complain that men are jerks but in fact most women are attracted to feeling desired so they are attracted to the jerk's way to connect, all this is a natural functioning but when you are aware you know where to go and you can relativize your flings, and choose willingly if you want a one shot or a more profound relation.
If you want a better relation you know you have to resist to be attracted to someone that desire you to quickly and learn to know the mindset of the person.
As currently i function like a woman and can't show an instant attraction, a desire to possess first, because i don't think appearance is much important, so i'm not attractive to women, in fact if i was a jerk and wanting to bang a woman as soon as i speak to her, she would probably more consider me as a potential partner, isn't it sad, it's all for reproduction, nature set us all.
So i warn you all now you know how general attraction between men and women works and so you can choose willingly what you want to experience, you can't complain anymore. eh eh

Personally i just want deeper lasting relations that's it, but i know we all don't match greatly with a lot of person, it's a tough quest, so sometimes settling for the easy comfort of an instant affection seem more enticing but it never lasts and in the end only leaves a bitter taste of self betrayal and self disrespect, that should tend to set more precise choices, it's learning by experience but it can be painful, i choose the way of the reasoning and thinking because i fear rejection yeah, but also because i personally think it's saner, i don't use and i don't want to feel used, and i'm conscious how all this works, i'm not shy or desperate, i'm intellectually strong and i want to connect."

Peace!

letter

"I think that what can disturb us sometimes, even when in a pleasant moment, is precisely in the past, but we have to know that real happiness is always in the present, because the past is past, (just a present moment that doesn't exist anymore), and the future isn't there yet, we can think and live again on a moment, stories, sentiments, past events of our life or events that we plan and that will be there in a while, (learn from the past to be prepare for the future, learn in the present to plan a future), but we have to remind ourselves that reality, and so life and happiness to live is necesarily in the present, it helps to detach from what was painful, if we suffered it was in the process to learn and go forward, to grow, thus we know ourselves more and more and we do less and less mistakes in our personal choices, (some things we can't live now but we will in the future when we'll be naturally ready), and at least when bad consequences happen we can manage it without dramatizing, it is how a philosophy of life and happiness grow in us.

What's intriguing is the past life that forms us, our conditioning to fit in one mold, one stereotype, i like to decypher people, know the reasons for their choices, for their taste and distaste, (everything is explicable), i like to know the functioning and a human being is a fascinating machine, be reassured no one is depersonalized in my mind, nor a test subject for analysis, but our path is made of obstacles, of passions, of fears and treasons, i'm curious because i understand melancholy and suffering brought by random events in our life, i think it's true to say that people who suffered are more enclined to awaken than others living brainlessly in comfort, they are pushed to think, they often develop a strong creative, artistic side, they make it a catharsis, an outlet, and we become musician, poet, painter or writer, and our brain endlessly search an explanation for so much grief, in that way troubled minds grow faster, because to awaken to a better life we have to decide that it's enough, enough wrong, enough fears, enough self induced suffering, and that it's time to consider living positively to be in harmony with oneself and with others, and everyone can understand when it is time to let go."

"There is no such thing as a free choice while being emotionally attached to a belief system."
(athene's theory of everything)

I can belong everywhere because i can talk to everyone without judgment and watch at each tree without labelling.

Personal misbehavior

On the matter of connection with women i think i know where i'm wrong, somewhat, because it's a conditioning i have, i know i write and have a sensitivity close to what a woman will have, i say "that will be my pleasure to see you" while to be attractive and interesting to a girl i should say "i want to meet you because i feel good about you", which is more assertive, dominant and manly.
That's my mistake to be shy and distant, i'm the male so i should be the one hunting and disclosing my interest in some girl, while i'm acting like i let the other tell me if i'm interesting for her, i know most girls aren't attracted to that behavior, they want to be desired, and so be able to decide if they want to flirt, so they feel safe they can choose, i act as if i don't want to engage myself, like i'm detached and i'm the one choosing, this is anti natural and what makes me unattractive.
I act like i'm the woman wanting to be wanted and hit on, but most women don't feel to step on, it's mainly the other way round, the man going to propose on the woman.
That's why i'm a misfit for relationships, and why women don't feel a physical attraction and connection to me, like most women i'm subtle and i link on the emotional and intellectual levels first, and not like men do on the physical, the touch, the stare, which in me like in most women comes later, after i settled a deeper connection, a mutual trust through the sharing of profound and sincere personal thoughts.

(to Ava)

When i hear that melody i see the labyrinth of my heart, the polished and irregular grey bricks building that world, stacked, and hardly holding this sad piece as one, there are streams of tears and blood, pumped, impetuously running along the paths of bubbling mud or soiled tar, and all living creatures are drenched, walking fast, head down inside the lifted flaps of their trenchcoats, the peachy deliquescence under the wet mantles, the frighthened animals, who are they?!, distraught in the endless, striding though there's nowhere to go, and black and white lure and daze you through the old parks and streets, where all that is loved end up, there, finally sitting by exhaustion in this miserable place, on sidewalks, on benches, on the grouped seats of cafés, smokes and drinks can't heal, as the rain fades away their faces and melancholia becomes their will to persist.