lundi 4 février 2013

Early years, youth trip (trip has two meanings)



I took that trip to the north, there was a rock festival, and that girl i wanted to meet, we were sharing that love for poetry on the internet, she said
"Come meet me at the last stop of the shuttles."
Trains, then a car, with my backpack, way up north.
I'm wandering in that harbour town, the sun is setting, frozen drops of rain are falling on the pier,
i'm searching, kind of lost, not knowing where to look at,
it's beautiful,
and dreadful,
the sky is grey and i'm drifting, where is she, time passes, a last sun ray pierces through the clouds to illuminate for a second the crescent sand beach, i leave to the actual place of the festival.
A set of huge patches of land cut by dirt pathes, far away from the city, far away from the first farm, it's slightly raining, it's late, and i notice, furtively, right before entering the domain, between rows of cars parked in a field, there's a sign with the word : "SHUTTLES" black on white, with a black frame.
So, that was here!
I know it's too late, even if she had waited under the rain for one hour
(which she did)
I paid my ticket, i leaned over the crowd, i let myself swing, in the waves of flesh and sweat, until the end of the night, i wore myself, and that band was playing, and she was here, somewhere, in that confusion of haze and mud, maybe so close, whispering "my sweet prince".
This is the story of a missed act, the chapter is over, close the book, the moon has shattered in the clinking of wine bottles and the eerie sound of moaning and electric guitares.

2 commentaires:

  1. Even back then, you knew how to live in the present. If I arranged to meet with someone like that, I would have felt crushed to have missed her. I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the show like you had, and I think that's a great ability you have... to enjoy what there is, even when things don't go how you wanted, you enjoyed what there was. You made it worthwhile.

    The track is eerie, I like it.

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  2. hmm you make it sound like i had forgotten my missed "rendez vous" while at the concert, but as you can see it wasn't the case and even now i think about that story, being careless and forgetting is not me, but forgiving is, at least i try to take that road so i don't suffer from the past, from the missed actions.
    Years later i tried to search for that girl, i went by myself to the town where she was attending high school, i wrote letters to the adresses i had from that time, but everything was unsuccessful, and all that is another story.
    I don't cry over what could have happened, but i know at the time i didn't put all the affection i could have, because i was protecting my sensitivity a lot and couldn't imagine that a girl wanted to meet me, but the lesson is if you don't want to have regrets you must place acts, give yourself a chance, put in some heart and believe.

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