It's bright outside, i hear the purring from the city, if it was not for the cold breeze slipping through the window i'm watching out, we could mistake this as a summer day; from my height i see the students walking in packs, prancing and teasing, speaking loud to make the world believe they are not affraid, other persons stride to their goals, and i feel i'm the one eternally motionless before my window; a day like this, nature is in spurt, aboundant emerald foliage with battling birds in it, battling... no, smirking birds; this calm and peacefulness under this vast clear sky don't make me feel lighter, what influences me is my own imagination, i know i'm untied, but those possibilities are drifting far, i'm like an eagle without wings, i can't see a haven here to lay my head and give vent to my thoughts, where am i heading, why am i not on tracks, why i cannot be satisfied of the offering mob; i have no chains and yet i feel heavily boxed; there is this silhouette and no one can pull me back from this window.
I never felt this empty before.
It seems that you want routine in your life, like the others that you watch from your window: they have a routine that they probably dread, but i guess that gives them meaning. I'm not sure if i feel that routine gives life more meaning. Personally, i feel my life is more meaningful when i experience spontaneous moments. I feel i have meaning when i walk on the street and stop to pick a leaf from the ground, and writing shitty papers for a class is really just a waste of my time...i wonder if the torture of my dreadful routine makes me savor those spontaneous moments more? Maybe if you had routine that you dreaded you would cherish your free time more...
RépondreSupprimeri have to find some balance you're right, but i don't want loneliness too, and their routine sociabilizes them. if i had a routine i'll enjoy my free time more it's a process, but i will have the impression to lose my time in shitty jobs.
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