Sometimes i think : "i don't know how to express myself correctly", my sentences are wobbly, i rush my words and end up using unproper ones, i speak too fast and i'm not using those i was searching for, sometimes i even don't have the time to form a complete image in my head to describe what i want to say, because someone's waiting for my answer and it's so complex, my brain naturally wants to make it wild, adventurous, magnificent and luxuriant , so i obviously cannot speak it comprehensively without taking a little time to assemble it;
Before, those occurences were making me feel stupid, unsuited for direct communication, i see myself again starting to feel unconfortable and scrutinized, my eyes were fluttering, i couldn't watch straight at the person in front of me, and my gestures were being awkward and shaky, like i'm trying to slip away, praying for a catastrophe in the vicinity so i can escape that dreadful examination, something to put the other's attention away.
I realize now, too many people just don't give me the time, if i start to expand my stories, to give it life and precision, make an emotional tale off a tiny event, most people plainly drift away, they want the facts, not the dreamy foreign interpretation, maybe they simply don't care about a different view on things than theirs or their mind just can't process too much details and imaginative pieces, but that's how i function and i like it, so that's why i must recognize who can really hear me, and when i have to talk flatly, dully as a tv announcer, i'm more and more convinced i need to speak to people with a poetic mind, that can be pleased by my images and bring it theirs, listening peacefully, just enjoying, immersing fully in the moment.
That's what i am, i'm a guy who wants to make every moment precious and unforgettable, to illuminate, in their sweet veil, the memories.
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