I'm not fun because i don't enjoy the world of forms, i'm not light enough, is that possible to go back, or do others like me exist?

I see people seemingly happy, smiling, while explaining how to bake a cake and put a little fluff on it, how to decorate your christmas tree with home-made flashy labels and prints, how to get the look of a famous actor, actress, singer, tv personality, by using a whatever set of beauty products, and those people look happy to share that, to do that even for themselves.

I'm so far away, there's no way i belong there.

Though there must be a community and a love for me somewhere, people resonating with me.