Stop playing roles (for a better personal life)

"When you don't play a role, there is no ego in what you do. There's no parallel program, like protection or reinforcement of the self. That's why your acts have a greater impact. You are entirely focused on a situation, you become one with it. You don't try to be someone in particular. You are very powerful and efficient when you are totally yourself. But don't try to be yourself. It will be a role you play, the "Natural and Spontaneous Me" role. As soon as you try to be this or that, you play a role. "Just be yourself" is a good advice, but that can also be deceitful. The mental will start to work and will say : "Let's see, how can i be myself?" he'll then start to conceive the strategy : "How to be myself." Another role. "How to be myself" is in fact the wrong question to ask, because it implies that you have to do something to be yourself. But the "How" is useless here because you already are yourself. Simply stop to add useless burdens to what you already are.
"But i don't know who i am. I don't know what be myself means."
Then, if you can feel perfectly at ease without knowing who you are, what's left, this is who you are. The Being behind the Human, the field of a pure potential rather than something already defined.
Cease to define yourself, is it you or others. That won't kill you. On the contrary, you'll revive. And don't give importance to the way others define you. When they do it, they limit themselves. So it is their problem. Each time you interact with people, don't be there only like a function or a role, but like a field of conscious Presence. Why does the ego play roles? Because of an indisputed presomption, a fundamental mistake, an unconscious thought. This thought is as follow : I'm not enough. And after this one, other thoughts come : I have to play a role to get what i need to be completely myself; I need more to be more. But you can't be more than what you are because, in your physical and psychological form, you are one with life itself, one with the Being. By the form, you are and will always be inferior to some and superior to others. By the essence, you're not inferior or superior to anyone.
It's by understanding this that the true self esteem and the true humility are born. To ego's eyes, self esteem and humility are contradictory. In reality, they are one and only thing."

E.Tolle (raw translation)