the weight of obsession

I don't know how to distract myself, i'm sitting here, legs crossed, i dressed, i took a shower, those were my attempts to boost me up in that day, but now, i'm just here, tetanized, watching through the furnitures with glassy eyes, as if the life force was stolen from my scrawny body, my senses are dull, all remaining is this energy ball in my stomach, an irradiating stir that makes me dizzy and i know that no place i could run to will soothe me from that settled ogre inside, i can't escape it, it'll just cover me deeper like i'm crawling in quicksand, my mind is overtaken, my mind is overtaken, my mind is overtaken, and i intensely want to give my body too, there's no secure place to picture because the delusional memory of her embrace just build stronger the feeling of her absence, this is hopeless, this is useless to desire that much, my eyes cry and my lips shiver desperately craving to speak those words aloud, take me away, touch me, don't leave me, je t'aime tellement!