Process of my fall

In the process of analyzing my current state I think I experience a loss of something valuable, which weighs on my low self-esteem; When I was little my hairs were so long that I was mistaken for a girl, so I was marginal and rejected at school and out of my home too, I didn't went unnoticed, adults mentioned my look, they always had a comment to make on my appearance and these so long hairs, while the kids my age seeing the difference were just trying to avoid me; I build myself anticonformist, with a strong personal vision of things; at home my father criticized me with no rest, saying that I was "resembling to nothing" and calling me a "tramp", maybe in rebellion against his authority and against the other individuals of this planet who mocked me openly and insidiously, I kept my hairs very long very late; maybe for me these long hairs are the symbol of my personality, of my individuality, of my battle to exist and to be accepted as I want to be; ... but now, this is the end.