We can like ourself only if we please to others, if others send us only negative signals about us, our self esteem will be low and we couldn't bear our image; for the self-esteem to raise we have to please to ourself and to please to ourself we must please to others, it's a vicious circle. Ultimately our self-esteem totally depends on the judgements of others, anyway; moreover pleasing to others is a preliminary condition to fill a natural need, I don't mention sex for pleasure but the need of affection as an instinct for the survival of the species.
Along my life i developed a way were i give more importance to intellectual understanding, and I know that I am very afraid of the emotions I could feel face of a physical contact.
When I watch a movie and there is a kissing scene I look away because I feel that this adds nothing to the story and therefore has no interest; I also think that most people would consider me abnormal by being so affraid of that.
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