What makes a clumsy oafish?

What makes a clumsy oafish? (reflecting on a recent event)

Joking about a difficult subject, filled with negative and commonly disgusting connotations, by including someone who has different, more delicate and tacit manners, someone who is not so casual with this or that subject, but summarily it's highly a matter of manners and direction of the boorish remark.

Try at an example : "If Aurore walks down that shady alley, she's going to be raped! arf arf!"

(often followed with an overly demonstrative and indecent laugh, in an attempt to rally people over the supposed lightness wanted behind the use of direct and highly connoted words)

That kind of joke will be better accepted if it was abstract and so directed to no one in particular.

Example : "Going down this creepy alley there's a chance to get raped (in the ass)(with gravel)!"

The subject is always rude but because this remark wasn't intended to anyone, it's simply thrown into the air, someone sensitive hearing that will be less shocked than if it was directed at her, and so will be more magnanimous and will judge less severely the one who would have dared joking about such a serious and troubled subject.

(example of subjects not to joke so easily about : coprophilia, pedophilia, rape, necrophilia, hygiene, generally death and sex and filth, and probably more....blah blah blah, subjects people with loose manners will speak aloud remarks about, in the most public places with any person in their vicinity, without considering the delicacy of some of these persons, and the weight of their own degrading words. )
Poor Aurore!