resistance

I had that dream, a nightmare, i'm in a room, several bedside lamps create an intimist atmosphere in orange hues, i've got the consciousness it's a dormitory, i brought back that girl from a nearby party, no, it's more like she insidiously led me and we're isolate up there, but the next door is open and i see another couple hastily starting foreplay.
That girl acts like she wants me, and quick. She presses languidly against me, she reaches under my shirt, she bites my revealed biceps, and if it's not conspicuous enough she says it, again and again, the same line with different words, rapid words, urging me to take her.
She's a thin brunette with mid lenght straight hair and determined brown eyes, she takes her white shirt off, and she's showing pretty little breasts, sligthly pyramid-shaped mounds that don't require a bra, and a beautiful flat belly, with a tiny beauty spot on the side of her navel.
In her energy and body i feel that girl is definitely desirable for me, she continues to rub against me, to lick my face, my desire pushes me to touch her, i run my hands along her skin, and impregnate of every curve and spot, but inside me something is reticent and i keep gently shoving her back, keeping her with my strong stretched arms at a distance where i can see her, look at her, trying to admire her, to read into her, i want to take my time, i want to know her, i want to tell her secrets, i want we really connect, and i'm starting to feel awkward because she's all focused onto the sexual pleasure she wants from me, while i'm thinking "why can't we take time, speak and discover each other, taste all the sweetness of intimacy".
Always demanding, almost begging, she suddenly plunge to untie my belt and unbutton my pants, she's got one thing in mind, and i hear in the next room where the door is still open that the other couple is getting at it, they are grunting heavily and their rale is resonating on the white walls, i feel more and more uneasy, and aroused too, i contain her desire with harder resolution, and she's starting to get annoyed and frustrated, saying "Oh come on, let's go, it's a one minute business!", and i hear "Do me, please, do me", like a voice from beyond the darkness of her mind, i'm tense and soon distraught, i have to get away, i clearly don't want to be a fuck machine, a mere object that will lose its interest once used.

(That unpleasant dream tells me i want to be intimate at all levels with someone, if possible, and take the time to discover the person entirely, body and mind, in details, i need to build that intellectual trust before releasing my passion, and i know that's a contradiction because nature pushes men to be wild in those situations, acting with the sexual drive and not the reasoning mind, i'll be like them if i had enough self confidence, but my passion requires a defined environment to hatch and spread in an incredible craving.)