Turn the tide (in the end a letter to myself)

There was that photo of me on the internet, and someone commented nicely, asking what's beneath the (attractive?) look, i was careful, was it a sincere comment, was it a trick to make me fall, i don't want to feel through my ego, but still i thought to reply politely, i wrote a little text to present myself and sent it right away, then i read me again, and i faced my so common negative conditioning, it struck me instantly, all those years i had presented me like that, beating on me with a saddening tone, describing ingeniously my ugliness and my lack of talent, i was such an unconscious man, and i questioned all those years why i was feeling alone and different, why no one wanted to know me, i was wrong and it's not surprising people stay away from such negativity, yeah because like that person with the nice comment, people came to me sometimes, and stupidly, unconsciously i was the one sending them back where they came, and on the principle to protect myself i created my own lonely self, i isolated and tried to convince myself that even if something was wrong with me i had to take pride in my seclusion, that i was different and unaccepted, i see that now with new eyes, i see where i was wrong in my beliefs, it struck me in that letter, that i had wrote mechanically, following my conditioned primal emotions, what i felt seemed real, but if i reasoned it, it's based on false beliefs and so has no need to exist, that self loath, that protection, the feeling that i can be rejected and fooled, and that i will break, in the end i'm only rejected because i did everything to be, but if i act nicely and confident, i'm sure now i will have good feed backs, and everyone can feel good about me, and me feel good about myself, facing that letter i wrote, i saw the uselessness of my paterns, and it's time to change because now in my mind it has no reasons left to exist. I apologized to the person and set back the discussion on a more positive level but still true to who i am, because now i can be strong as my creeds turn on the positive side of my own life.