Men are attracted to women that make them feel more masculine, that is more powerful (abilities, prowess, talent),
and women are attracted to men that make them feel more feminine, that is more loved (understood, desired).

Men want recognition, Women want adoration.


(But beware and still remember that satisfaction through this, is only a work of the Ego, if you're strong in your being you don't need that kind of reassurances)

(Comment written for "Personal Misbehavior")

"My point in this post is noticing that i function like a woman on the matter of connecting with the other gender, i focus on an emotional and intellectual bond first, like most women do naturally, in opposite to men who choose first on appearance and sex appeal, but i despise choosing like men do generally because it can so easily lead to using the other, at first they are all loving enjoying fully touch and intimacy with a girl they think is attractive, but as soon the relation must go farther and they quickly discover that beneath the pretty shell the personality, the values, the mind doesn't match, men just turn away and sabotage the relation, leaving the woman feeling used, tricked and that they were only here for the sex, which in the end was true, so if you want a better lasting relation you must consider mind connection first which i do, (which is the women's way to do, generally), the problem is that women want to feel desired instantly (because it's the old system and everyone is used to this one), so in fact women who are generally attractive are those who are the most used and let down, so also women are mostly attracted to those who make them feel more feminine so those who desire them in a sexual primal way, so they tend to get attached with men that will leave them after they get the shallow part of a relationship which is physical intimacy, and then people complain that men are jerks but in fact most women are attracted to feeling desired so they are attracted to the jerk's way to connect, all this is a natural functioning but when you are aware you know where to go and you can relativize your flings, and choose willingly if you want a one shot or a more profound relation.
If you want a better relation you know you have to resist to be attracted to someone that desire you to quickly and learn to know the mindset of the person.
As currently i function like a woman and can't show an instant attraction, a desire to possess first, because i don't think appearance is much important, so i'm not attractive to women, in fact if i was a jerk and wanting to bang a woman as soon as i speak to her, she would probably more consider me as a potential partner, isn't it sad, it's all for reproduction, nature set us all.
So i warn you all now you know how general attraction between men and women works and so you can choose willingly what you want to experience, you can't complain anymore. eh eh

Personally i just want deeper lasting relations that's it, but i know we all don't match greatly with a lot of person, it's a tough quest, so sometimes settling for the easy comfort of an instant affection seem more enticing but it never lasts and in the end only leaves a bitter taste of self betrayal and self disrespect, that should tend to set more precise choices, it's learning by experience but it can be painful, i choose the way of the reasoning and thinking because i fear rejection yeah, but also because i personally think it's saner, i don't use and i don't want to feel used, and i'm conscious how all this works, i'm not shy or desperate, i'm intellectually strong and i want to connect."

Peace!

letter

"I think that what can disturb us sometimes, even when in a pleasant moment, is precisely in the past, but we have to know that real happiness is always in the present, because the past is past, (just a present moment that doesn't exist anymore), and the future isn't there yet, we can think and live again on a moment, stories, sentiments, past events of our life or events that we plan and that will be there in a while, (learn from the past to be prepare for the future, learn in the present to plan a future), but we have to remind ourselves that reality, and so life and happiness to live is necesarily in the present, it helps to detach from what was painful, if we suffered it was in the process to learn and go forward, to grow, thus we know ourselves more and more and we do less and less mistakes in our personal choices, (some things we can't live now but we will in the future when we'll be naturally ready), and at least when bad consequences happen we can manage it without dramatizing, it is how a philosophy of life and happiness grow in us.

What's intriguing is the past life that forms us, our conditioning to fit in one mold, one stereotype, i like to decypher people, know the reasons for their choices, for their taste and distaste, (everything is explicable), i like to know the functioning and a human being is a fascinating machine, be reassured no one is depersonalized in my mind, nor a test subject for analysis, but our path is made of obstacles, of passions, of fears and treasons, i'm curious because i understand melancholy and suffering brought by random events in our life, i think it's true to say that people who suffered are more enclined to awaken than others living brainlessly in comfort, they are pushed to think, they often develop a strong creative, artistic side, they make it a catharsis, an outlet, and we become musician, poet, painter or writer, and our brain endlessly search an explanation for so much grief, in that way troubled minds grow faster, because to awaken to a better life we have to decide that it's enough, enough wrong, enough fears, enough self induced suffering, and that it's time to consider living positively to be in harmony with oneself and with others, and everyone can understand when it is time to let go."

"There is no such thing as a free choice while being emotionally attached to a belief system."
(athene's theory of everything)

I can belong everywhere because i can talk to everyone without judgment and watch at each tree without labelling.

Personal misbehavior

On the matter of connection with women i think i know where i'm wrong, somewhat, because it's a conditioning i have, i know i write and have a sensitivity close to what a woman will have, i say "that will be my pleasure to see you" while to be attractive and interesting to a girl i should say "i want to meet you because i feel good about you", which is more assertive, dominant and manly.
That's my mistake to be shy and distant, i'm the male so i should be the one hunting and disclosing my interest in some girl, while i'm acting like i let the other tell me if i'm interesting for her, i know most girls aren't attracted to that behavior, they want to be desired, and so be able to decide if they want to flirt, so they feel safe they can choose, i act as if i don't want to engage myself, like i'm detached and i'm the one choosing, this is anti natural and what makes me unattractive.
I act like i'm the woman wanting to be wanted and hit on, but most women don't feel to step on, it's mainly the other way round, the man going to propose on the woman.
That's why i'm a misfit for relationships, and why women don't feel a physical attraction and connection to me, like most women i'm subtle and i link on the emotional and intellectual levels first, and not like men do on the physical, the touch, the stare, which in me like in most women comes later, after i settled a deeper connection, a mutual trust through the sharing of profound and sincere personal thoughts.

(to Ava)

When i hear that melody i see the labyrinth of my heart, the polished and irregular grey bricks building that world, stacked, and hardly holding this sad piece as one, there are streams of tears and blood, pumped, impetuously running along the paths of bubbling mud or soiled tar, and all living creatures are drenched, walking fast, head down inside the lifted flaps of their trenchcoats, the peachy deliquescence under the wet mantles, the frighthened animals, who are they?!, distraught in the endless, striding though there's nowhere to go, and black and white lure and daze you through the old parks and streets, where all that is loved end up, there, finally sitting by exhaustion in this miserable place, on sidewalks, on benches, on the grouped seats of cafés, smokes and drinks can't heal, as the rain fades away their faces and melancholia becomes their will to persist.