City trip

"Let's talk about hanging out, i also don't know how most people experience this, going out, doing activities here and there, bumping into a lot of strangers, saying one superficial line, or one forced laugh, one lusty kiss, or a moment made to stop thinking [all like a string of pearls].
I hung out two days in a row that week, with my lesbian friend, one day we walked around town then went to an irish bar (the same i already mentioned once in one of my text) to see people and bands sing and play instruments on a tiny stage, standing in the dark on the front and sipping a thick strawberry juice (well not me but ****[that's the nickname], i feel i don't have the right to order much because i'm not earning any money right now, so i keep it simple, and they didn't throw me out because i wasn't consuming any drinks in their "House"), and the second day we went to a sort of pancake factory (a restaurant) in the evening, i had all the difficulty of the world to get pass the front door, i'm still so uneasy with shops and so, the look, the atmosphere, the cry to please you insinserely and get your money, my friend had to lead to go in and she's only twenty, i'm shameful, but it all went very well once we were sitting at a table, and we talked passionately for a long time (even joking with the waiter), going out then in the night and stopping to get a coffee in a fast food on the way back [we walked a lot, my friend is young and fresh she can follow the athletic me, and she likes it, instead of always taking the easy way by the train or the bus that makes you miss all the details and interesting sights there is on a path to a destination, where you can stop and take the time to feel the moment with all your senses], we sat in front of a skating rink, on the stairs going into the building, nonchalantly, it was cold, but the warm coffee kept us cheerful [with some fries for her, and a sliced apple for me].

I think i enjoy this not in the conventional way, because i keep it to the simplest and unextraordinary side of things, i prefer this uneventful intimacy to the roar and chaos of usual entertainment places, i feel sensitive and deep, and this is how i naturally enjoy things, more deeply, more passionately, more pervertedly, and i can go farther to say that when i experience something more hectic [what the common people seek : the saucy brainless entertainment], like in the irish bar, it's still enjoyable to some extent that i now don't create any anguish in me but it's not fully satisfying because it's superficial, vulgar and not intimate at all [i mean the communications and interactions in that kind of entertainment places], so you never build something strong and lasting, and to me it leaves a taste of uselessness or unachievement, i can't deny that for now i feel it in my bones i prefer to share a nice honest evening with sincere few friends than to lose my mind like others can do [my sister] in places made for easy trips and stripped you off [money, dignity, intelligence].
I really like my seriousness, and i think i would be more entertained in an intellectual salon filled with artists and scientists than in the mess of the popular clubs, bars and restaurants of a city."