I'm standing up in the back of that smoky bar (it is mist and vapor rising from the pack of sweaty overheated bodies), a band is playing a soapy song and everyone is cheering, i've got my cynical smile pinned on my face but i must look amenable enough (i'm thinking) because a guy is creeping over me through the crowd, as slipery as a snake with a malicious grin behind his thick long hair, he positions himself close to me, one step farther, and pretends listening to the music.
After a while he starts talking to me, soft words coming from his sweet tongue, he creates the intimacy, he is calmly joyful, i hear about his life in another town last year and the band he formed honestly, a bass player, a real musician, we talk about our own experiences and i'm swift to reply with the same amiability, few minutes later we share greased smiles, and a little euphoria settles in that bond.
I stand straight, my hands in my pockets, i'm confident, i'm unchained, i feel he is not lying in his anecdotes, yeah i'm pretty sure he is not, and i'm not too, this is working for a real conversation.
Minutes pass, decades of minutes, this is not a counter talk, then the current band finishes his set, everybody applauds, people go outside to burn one down, and others get scattered around me and my interlocutor, we're not isolated, we're blending.
All suddenly but with the same leniency and good maneers he showed from the begining he asks me for two euros to get a cheap glass of beer, i say clearly without remorse or hesitation :
"This is a no, i don't even buy a drink for myself!",
so he bends his head in comprehension, still soft, still calm, still smiling, he backs up one step then asks again
"Don't you have a cigarette?",
again i say frankly and loud enough
"No i don't smoke!",
my attitude is convincing, i stay strong like a statue, with a sweet cunning smile, so he goes away to never be seen again.
This is not even deceptiveness, this is the common accepted mentality amongst humans, nothing is free, and any friendship (or any kind of relation imaginable) must come with benefits.
Despicable lot.
I always like the way you tell stories. This was enjoyable to read tonight, and I agree with you, sadly there is not enough sincerity in the world.
RépondreSupprimerBut sincerity was here in that guy's speech! That's how it's so devious! What i point out is the common belief that relations with others (and even the relations with objects and nature around) is good and valuable only if you can get some material things (or at least palpable things) from it. Simply being present, sincerely oriented to the other, and accepting him completely, loving him (in my term), is not understood, not felt, and considered vain, to me that shift toward simplicity of being and love is what will save humanity, but clearly the process is slow, most people are rooted to their old societal conditioning and hardly aware of one thing.
SupprimerThis is only one example that happened to me, and i'm glad i didn't break and stayed strong and kind, to my direction, though i'm observing the stagnation around. I would like awareness to be teached in classrooms, but it's contrary to the economical system that demands stupidly following people. One day this knowledge will be spread enough and we will all live better, and i won't recede. Peace.
I have that blog to speak about my ideals isn't it, so i have long tirades like that, ah ah ah.
Have a good day.