To me it's more a proof of lack of personality, a proof of insecurity, the teen doesn't choose consciously and his ego needs the other to feel fine in himself (which is already paradoxical, to search self-confidence in the other, one should search in oneself, that is more sensible to me), without the other there's a missing or self-depreciation, this setting starts, in my opinion, an unhealthy relation based on a confusion of feelings, mixed with what is perceived of the other's talks and gestures, compliments or desires.
When someone is strong enough in his self confidence he is able to make a real choice of who he wants to frequent without being influenced, i could say manipulated, by the other's display, which can be faked or interested (through feelings and moves), and in the end it doesn't matter if the other is sincere or not, (we can never be sure about what is in the other's mind, but we can know our personal self for sure), because the awaken one will judge for himself what makes him feel good and will choose accurately to stay or leave at every moment, to meet or act whenever he really wants it and not for the purpose to get a deviant ego boost, which in the end will get stall, and will let a constant state of helplessness inside the needy person.
I think that's how a lot of girls gets fooled by an imposing presence, an image of the father or the professor. Males are more inclined to hide their needy behavior and turn to violence.
I must be, still a teenager. But also, because I'm aware of this functioning... I have no one to call.
RépondreSupprimerI observed that in teenagers, but the base is a low self esteem, this is your problem, a low self esteem, you need to gain more confidence, because you're not a teenager anymore.
RépondreSupprimerI really think when you'll drop that confusing behavior, mixing of feelings, when you'll start thinking and acting for yourself, settling what is the real you, no matter what others think or do, then you'll find friends to talk to and you'll really be able to choose the lovers you want.
I am thinking and acting for myself. I don't spend time with people because honestly I find most people dull. I'm not searching for lovers. Just a person who can accept me, listen and talk to me, someone I could call when I'm lonely and meet to do something fun or interesting. Someone to respect me and challenge me.
RépondreSupprimerI'm thinking, it's not about searching. Searching is the antithesis of finding. It's more about being open, being real, letting our real self be in every situation, every interaction, every action, and if a bond must be born, it will form naturally, and for each person encountered what can be shared will be clear, obvious in our eyes, whatever it is, physical or intellectual, or both.
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