What are we waiting for?, a plausible meeting somewhere in the course of time, we will hardly get to know each other that we'll have to part, who will accompany me when i'll feel i need to play basketball, will i find friends over there, who will take you to the place you encounter cats, you'll need someone to share that personal relief, so why are we waiting, thinking of it, it's useless, a waste of experience, of time, of life, i don't have time, i'm on a slide, imagination doesn't satisfy me anymore, people i knew have already traveled the whole planet, they loved, they were loved, they changed, they changed jobs, they changed girlfriends, thus resounds the words of my dad from the past "at your age i already kissed a girl", well buddy it's not a game for me, it's my health on the thread, tip toe on the razorblade, that's how i feel, when i'm outside people scratch me with their words, their behaviors, i'm shy, i'm small on a line in a store, trying to look innocent, to blend in, to be the good guy in the right place, but this is not, not the golden path to me, i'm waiting that problems solve by themselves, "i don't care" i say, help*, i don't care if no one loves me, if i'm a nobody in that world, help*, i don't care people dying and humanity withering, i don't care for cuteness, hear me*, how could i support a group i don't belong, all those groups, everything, everyone, i belong nowhere and to no one, and i say "i don't care", taming my rage, bashing my flesh, lock it in deep from the suspicious eyes, i don't want to be a bother to all, when you think you aren't worthy that puts you in an intouchable position, you are transparent and intangible to friends and foes, why waiting tell me, aren't every couple bonded by default, you can't know everybody, so you can't tell who will be the best for you, you can't try all that exists, see, i never knew, and i will give my heart to the first who talks to me, that sounds like getting carried away, how could we know if we are waiting.
(At the time i wrote this, i didn't know you weren't waiting... and liking it to the core)
Ce commentaire a été supprimé par l'auteur.
RépondreSupprimerMaybe you have to make a change in your philosophy. You have to condition yourself to care less about how others judge you. You give too much importance to the first impression others have of you. You should learn to be indifferent. Imagine you accidentally knock over someone's food on the grocery line, are you going to apologize a million times and turn 10 shades of red? Why, why are those people so important? They step on your feet, they cut you off in line, do they ever ask your permission or say they are sorry? So why should you? I know you believe strongly in respect, but you have to draw the line. Some people don't earn your respect. You can't go through your entire life trying to be unnoticed (it seems like you feel so badly about yourself that even your breathing could, by your definition, upset someone).
RépondreSupprimerWhen I first "met" you, I thought that if you gain confidence and love for yourself you'll have people lining at your door wanting to be your friends. You wouldn't need to chat with me online, you could have the real thing. Maybe I'd be the one to awaken, and some other lucky soul would do with you all the things I can't.
(I wrote a comment at first and noticed I accidentally worded this with "our" instead of "your": Maybe you have to make a change in our philosophy).
RépondreSupprimerMy brain is too much tied to you to make a typo like that.
(It's dumb, what's the point of my deleting the typo in the first place if here I am explaining it)