I'm drained, i put so much pressure on me in all i do around others, a simple day eating outside then creating with musicians sucks dry all my energy, i have nothing left for anyone whose ask me to "stand for", hardly for me to keep my moral in equilibrium above the ravine of doubts and downs, the engulfing mud, hardly enough to bear my constantly rushing sadly wise thoughts, how could i pass more than few hours deprived of the security of my shelter, i'm endlessly battling when i'm outside, confronting the glares, turning into a rock against what is not for me, survive, but slowly wasting strenght, i'm made this way, i'm made to lay down and whatever, anything to forget all that i'm not, all that i can't have, all where i'm not fine, i want to forget myself, where is that state of neverending rest, i'm made to be forgotten.
All i share is part of one big story, the story of my life, all has sense and all is linked, surely it is the after effect of my recent nights off, if i'm this frail how could i travel, how could i survive without a vault to hide in.
If you accept yourself the pressure from others wouldn't be draining you constantly. Just be. Be yourself, if others don't like you let them walk away. If you don't like them you are free to walk too. If you surround yourself with the right people, there shouldn't be a pressure because you would feel they already accept you as you are.
RépondreSupprimerThis sounds as something i could tell you eh eh, this is entirely right, but what if i'm too demanding or simply too different, in my thinking, to be really well as i want to be which is almost "perfectly well", i want to be perfectly well, perfectly me, but i'm not here, it's something you feel and obviously people don't befit me, common humans don't make me feel free and plainly happy and well; there's something else, what if by walking away from some people i'll shatter a dream i'd like to live because sometimes you need others to accomplish something and again the right persons don't seem to exist for me, i know i want too much, maybe too much of them, though i'm only asking for simple values, simply honnesty to the base of all behaviors, apparently this is rare down there, and this brings me back to the idea of the oasis, i'm tired by others, i know only one person could relieve me and make me feel purely myself, who it is, i need to know.
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