"When we are feeling stressed out and guilty and ashamed, that is a state that puts us into the version of ourselves, the mindset that is much more susceptible to immediate gratification, temptation and anxiety.
It's basically the biological opposite of what needs to be happening in your brain and body to remember your long term goals and to be that other version of yourself (the one that makes you feel empowered and self confident). What we would call the willpower version of yourself. And as soon as you start piling on the guilt and the shame, your brain switches into that other mode in which now everything's gonna be more tempting including procrastinating or including smoking or drinking (or fucking, and any kind of self indulgence that we feel will patch us up quickly but in fact makes us feel worst after a while because that wasn't what we really needed, it was just a quick fake fix, a palliative)."
Kelly McGonigal, "The Willpower Instinct" | Talks at Google
Forgiving oneself always seems to be a difficult task - but it's essential for growth.
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