Did you ever think again about something you used to give a lot of time to, something you did frequently with passion (no i'm not speaking about masturbation), but some ability you trained hard along the years, (ok that sounds even more like masturbation, but no, god damn it!), something that had meaning for you, and you were understanding the code and rules to do it, something that was a voice for you, a way to express who you thought you were, but now is totally senseless to you and you lost the drive?! (though the ability is still here).
I found back my sentiment for poetry, how i had found how i wanted to make it, my own way, it was easy, and it made sense about why i needed to display it.
But now i see no point for that drama, that wave of emotion, that was supposed to engulf someone, or free myself.

The problem is that words are born from the mind and not the heart.

(An emotion must be acted in the present to take form and meaning, or it becomes a frustration, an emotion must not be thought but lived, when you write you think, but writing consciously and unconditionally doesn't nurture frustration).

You think you share a truth but you're only manipulating the receiver of those words to get you the very thing that you miss in the moment you write, and because poetry is supposed to be emotional this is a psychological manipulation.

At least that's how i feel it now! (let's be clear!)

Words are useful, written or spoken, but for me now they have to be used to reach to someone positively and unconditionally, and i know i'm only sharing a piece of my mind through it, it's not much, it's not important to the scheme of the universe, it's personal and sometimes a call to someone else (when a question is asked, either way), it doesn't require any forced participation and answers, it must give the choice to each one to connect or not without any dramatic manipulations.

I still can read poetry and fantasize about what i perceive of the mind of the author, that's still fine and stimulating, but i refuse to feel manipulated from afar, or from another time period (try to manipulate me in a moment of closeness instead), life must be lived right here right now, where you are and choose to be, and in there you can use words to connect with your present and fullfill your life as you want.

Isn't it maturity?! (youth will call it boredom, please go back to masturbation kid!)