There's something broken in me, that prevents me to connect, to be appealing and to settle along what the majority wants to live.
When i watch women alone at a table in front of me in a restaurant, and even if i could be physically fine for them, i feel the expectations they could have about a relationship going all along a human life makes me unfit for the role, i'm an innocent, a kid inside, a destroyer of identity, i can be faithful, more than any man but i believe strongly in my individuality, the things in life that i enjoy personally, like i can enjoy the vision of a woman, my fingers strumming and sliding on the shiny body of a guitar, my tight muscles expressing on a run, on a dance, on a twitch or on an escape, the art and beauty and love that i feel and enjoy only for myself without bending to others' will, i can't be nice "to be nice", for someone to appreciate me he/she can only do it for himself/herself, or never, surely not in a concept or a norm, i've got so much more to share than lust and conformity (that everyone seems to stop at), but i seem to feel that no one can function along those lines, by the side of my aura, free of the mind and all forms, and confident enough to enter a world without a safety net and pre-conceived ideas. It seems no one has the courage to be real in the void, a formless, timeless dimension, that's what i propose, for this i'm a monster.
Be careful, what if you are too quick to assume you know what the other is thinking and wanting? How do you know what she believes if you don't make the effort to approach her??!
RépondreSupprimerI do understand what you say, I agree that very few people are on the level you are at, but I know there are other too who believe in individuality. To find them you have to approach them, talk to them, without assuming you know what they are.
This is a redolence of a feeling, and somewhat i wanted to put it down with style, my dramatic style, you're comment is sensible, it's always a vision of myself that i project on others, but i'm ok that was an exercice, individuality isn't egoism and it's not scattering either to me, i already set up some steps and i intend to try them out, like making fade that negative image of myself.
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