where to stand, Sick of the Wall - levels of communication

They were a bunch talking cautiously, they had just arrived, i let them speak the usual presentation before starting any durable conversation, i leaned on the wall, apart, but facing them, all guys; after the boring low start a subject rose up, the commonly "do it yourself", -The Making of your own Amplifiers-, which implied, taking measures, sawing woods, sticking the parts together, tools, mechanism, electronics, ... they were at the point to check the steps one by one perfectly described on an internet page, with charts and figures; it didn't take long, i just left them at their technical stuff and i went to my room and started watching a movie about a shy crippled girl, a smother-love mother and a rebel brother, intertwined in a complex, fascinating and destructive relation; after a while the others knocked at my door, when one entered i've read in his bitter smile he reproached me to let the guests on their own to isolate;

For years i've done that, i felt in me i didn't want to stay with them, with that kind of people, in those situations, i couldn't, my guts told me, i didn't want to participate when they gathered around such technical subjects, shallow facts or superficial talks, i felt in me that i couldn't stay, that i was bored, and even if before i was forcing myself to stay with them longer, leaning on my wall, motionless, blending in, hardly listening, and totally not participating, now i know why all this happens in me, and i don't stick when the situation isn't satisfying for me, it's a matter of levels of communication! :

(1) CLICHES - Typical, routine, oft repeated comments, questions and answers given out of habit and with no real forethought or genuine intent. "How are you?" "Fine." "Having a good day?" "Yes."

(2) FACTS - Information/Statistics about the weather, the office, friends, the news, personal activities, etc. Requires no in depth thinking or feeling.

(3) OPINIONS - Includes concerns, expectations, and personal goals, dreams, and desires. Due to differences of opinion that naturally arise between two people, especially between men and women, this is typically the level at which we run into the "wall of conflict."

(4) FEELINGS - Having gone through the "wall of conflict" via applying the communication skills following, you both feel safe to share your deepest emotions.

(5) NEEDS - The deepest level of communication and intimacy where you feel completely safe to reveal your unique needs with each other. Truly, unless needs are known and met, a couple will remain "strangers."

Well i know where i stand now, i know better how i function, for a discussion to be satisfying for me, if i want to feel galvanized and dive into it, passionately, i need to talk at levels three and higher, i know now this is my natural functioning, this is in me, this is how my brain works, this is how my body feels, i need to share at intimate levels, i need to speak my truth and hear the truth of the other, so i want to accept that functioning and share with those who act and feel like me.

The lower levels are useful in communications that don't involve to know the other, like asking for administrative papers or buying stuff or simply working with colleagues, but apart from that i won't force myself against my nature, i need to share, i need to live through emotions.

If you are like me....