Disconnecting

I have a sentiment, we all mainly cross this life without knowing what being truly relieved is, happiness as a safe state, speak fast and proud, lying head down on the couch, wriggling, not using anything as it is originally designed, because we know we won't be judged as crazy or eccentric if we do, everyone in its own skin, feeling the unity of a gang, supported and loved, are we too often tired to be able to enjoy fully a moment, it is so brief, is it because others are different, they are not us, we are all so uselessly reserved, we expect too much and no one ever goes our way at will, randomly two persons take a step at the exact same time, they feel the rise, a perfect connection in one second, two are one and the understanding fills the air, that is the rare feeling of happiness, but why can't i have more often the relieve of talking what's in my mind, straigthly to someone, and not see the incomprehension or uneasiness in their glares, are we just too tired, in reality, sadly, mentally too weak, that we can't process and really understand when someone is revealing his heart, i'm tired of moving carefully, who am i trying to preserve, me or them....
Disconnecting is such a burden.