Simply watching her moving, while resting carelessly on the couch, head on the side, her silhouette dressing up in front of the profuse square light out of that big window, gracefully putting on shirt and pants, timidly messing up her own hair, glowing like a stream touched by sun rays, admiring the sober and slow angles of her limbs, it is made to tease me, then stare at her frail ankles in the shed of light, the nails cut awkwardly neat, the little blue veins streaking the feet under the white skin, desiring to trace the outline, roam on every bump and crest with my hand, tasting evenly the soft and grainy parts, lying here, and only watching, thinking that only watching her moving is such a delightful sensation.

I have to mix with the worst if i want to survive, because the good doesn't want of me.

(don't take it too seriously, it just sounded dramatically right)

Down, in the frame of an open door, there's a woman's back in the dim light, half covered in a thin black dress, the milky nude shoulders flashes out and i can see the blade bones moving under the skin as the arms sway like waves, i imagine she's a painter mixing colors with delicacy, kneeled on the floor, her dark hair tied as a messy bun, i stared long, all that is visible to me this evening is the naked back of an untouchable stranger woman, making lonely art in my mind.

Why am i such a sad man,
the night tints the clouds in a grave purple
and the wind carries a scent of rain by the open window,
i'm heavy,
take me home,
please, take the longest road,
let me enjoy the ride,
don't talk to me,
i'm withdrawn,
they don't see the poetry of things,
Absent, absence,
i'm better lured in my own illusion.

What is real

I kissed a girl! Or she kissed me, she followed the irregular crest of my teeth with the tip of her tongue, she licked my pink lips swollen with alcool, and i bit that lascivious tongue when she tried to enter my mouth to intertwine with mine, her inclined head drifted towards me to kiss my neck, i felt the teasing warmth of her breath, eyes closed in abandon, her hand on my thigh, gliding on the rail of desire, we kissed again, sensually, and i held her wet upper lip between mine, licking it carefully.
After that i thought,
I love You!
You!

Love isn't something we give away and then we are empty, love is something we produce endlessly when we meet the right persons, i feel i am an inexhaustible source of Love, it goes with my real self and awakens to proper sharings and situations.
Nothing is forced and my being tells me when and to whom he wants to give that Love, which is simply the want of the other person, the need to share.
Sometimes the other isn't receptive to what we want to communicate and doesn't feel the same, that's why we have to believe that Love only belongs to ourself, so we are never stuck or dried up, another person, another situation will trigger our need of Loving, and only when we are fully satisfied, that we resound harmoniously with someone, so we will settle and can be faithfull to few, or one.
Freedom, communication, authenticity are key caracteristics to have gratifying relationships.

M R S

Here's a little story, i was meeting new people, sitting low to the floor around a small table in a tiny appartment, me and my friend we were showing and commenting on the cover of the album by a rock band we saw play recenlty, the general review was very positive and we were seemingly happy to praise that band, then i picked myself the cd, hanged it in the air in front of all of us, i start a line on the logo "M R S" and a girl anticipating my comment speak enthousiastically at the same time i do, the guillotine falls "i think this logo is lame, totally uninventive"... , i watched her playful and said joyfully "you were about to say the contrary eh eh", she assumed as we were so expansive about the band that i was about to speak another compliment, but it's not like that, you see, i know the parts i like and i dislike even in something i greatly enjoy, nothing is perfect, and i'm confident to say what is my truth, even in front of strangers, i'm real like that, and actually as i pointed out that detail on our slight misunderstanding we then laughed together, i allowed myself to be the real me, to criticize even what i like, and still respect the opinion of someone, i would formerly feel embarassed to contradict, but my body language and speaking true and kindly, disarmed any potential conflict of personality, everyone stayed himself and finally felt respected, that's rewarding communication.