That's a long run at dusk around that lake, "do you fear sweat?" i would question with a crafty smile, "then jump in my arms, tie your legs around my waist and nestle your head in the recess of my neck, i'm bringing you back home, tell me if it's too much unconfortable", the two sticky bodies in the wet t-shirts mixing sweat, glued together, so tight, and i'm purring at that incongruous and foolhardy image.

The wind is whipping my face and my mouth is already full of sand, i see from that ten meters high plateau the reckless waves below, in a dark blue, raging like a storm under a sky so perfectly clear, and that stupid dog jumping at me, unable to climb straight the steep crumbly cliff, i smile when he tumbles and stick his nose in the wet sand, leaving behind the goofy print of his pitiful attempt, even his master is laughing "oh clumsy dog!" a gust of wind brings her words to me.
I admired, before standing on the edge, the long row of dead pine trees still rooted proud up that height, revealing the hoary rotten surface where the bark had fell, along the trunks only stumps, all the branches broke down for the kids and pets to play with, throw, catch, good boy! *ironic*
I watch far across the ocean, it's my time to jump, i've always been a burning head, here's my surge, my leap of faith, come with me.

the flaws of films

Films depict characters moving, evolving through negative feelings, events are occuring through pain and conflicts, it's often the same in real life, and that's too bad because the same evolution could be reached with positive feelings, respect, and self knowledge and confidence.
Giving up to fear is so easy and humans for sure are weak.

and you know everything

Today i miss sharing real
i miss someone who can touch me
they don't share like me
with that true intensity
they don't share with their self
i don't want to dwell on obssessions, near perfection, providence,
delusion!
but people i'm confortable with
are hard to find
because they are few
diamonds in the dirt, rough, fragile, versatile
i miss intimacy
as i want it to be
i miss one
and i feel like you described
lying on the floor
lifeless
why do i write this here?!
until i'm seated next to you for real
my bare biceps around your bare shoulders
my hands on your revealed waist
my cheek on your cheek
my lips... all over
you can read that from the start
again ...and again ....and again,
as it is periodic
to infinity

and i'm made out of glue you know

(and i feel relieve that i wrote my feeling and that you'll read it, thanks, i want to know your true self and i'll ask that you reveal to me)

I did that once, long ago, not so long ago, i had those letters, paper cuts, with scribbling on it, one side is a clue, a piece of life, the other is the bond, the kind attachment, i had a pier and a sunset throught words in grey, i had the flat and large buildings of a university set up in black on a blue torn slip, i had the postcard of an endless row of ancient pens and ink, it was the road we chose, i had that photograph, i still have, which all seems contradictory to what you said, too bright, the sky, the pavement, the table and the glass of lemon fizz, your hair like wheat, and your colored eyes who were supposed to never smile, trying to hide behind black, literally wearing it, trying to counter the happy sun, you imposed your eyes the bashing of your ashamed body every morning, i went to know, i dared traveling with that photograph and the pieces of your life in my pocket, fondly lent, i wanted to know we were supposed to jump that bridge, a call at home said, she's happy now don't disturb this, i know behind that blackness there was passion, i went to know, too late, i scared my mind, all i keep are the mistakes, a long series of scars, hidden under my bed, i want to fly.

I want to fly
I want to take a plane
and continue to fly

no more mistakes as regrets, no more fears, no more misunderstandings, follow my heart before it is too late

"we are sat, without knowing, onto the only well that could truly quench our thirst. It's called presence to self, presence to the other, presence to the world."