(an old writing, i wanted to share because i like how i wrote it)

I always craved for the ultimate part of intimacy, i talk, i share, my whole self communicate for that, they say sex is the icing on the cake, it's way harder to really know someone, lust is easy, love is rare, i always act to reach the difficult peak, i don't settle on easyness, i want the highest high. I let people know that i'm fucked up right away, we are all, but they hide it, i'm the most honest because i crave real intimacy that goes to the core of our fears and desires. Beyond to acceptance, at that point a naked body is just truth and natural beauty.

off switch

This has an effect on me, those sad songs, when i'm alone it only makes me melancholic, if i was with you it will make me affectionate, your presence turning experiences to positive.

Illuminated boldness

Sometimes i pause, imersing in that frame, following the soft curves, drawing under my forehead and my cheeks the more prominent bones, i blend on the walls, and i crawl, getting closer for a surprise, caressing that cloth, rubbing, the cold line of a thin essential metal pressed against a mellow flesh to end behind a lob and the little hair i dream to comb, i'm a pattern made to tatoo the skin, expressive affection, i separate the strands and play it like a guitare, bare, a teasing melody, tickling the wide sensitive expanse, i come from the ceiling, to dive into the bliss of two pearls of displaced loveness, there's a rolling passion raising this chest straight, heaving face to face, rising, twirling with the embodiment of desire, i squeeze gently, run along the precious silhouette, lend those strong features, the biceps that respire, for enjoyment, for the always coming presence, the entangled fingers that swing to one way, i slip into the warmth of a coat made for one, a rainbow to be born, kiss, kiss, high, down, all around, the rosy smile, the hidden, the giggling embarrassement, a body rooted as a protective tower, a body mild and supple to play with, clasping in his pleadings, murmuring the appeals, to the generous charms i see, oh the gloss, the shine of what was supposed to displease, the gloss i'm mesmerized to touch blindly, to land my exhilarated lips to the sure conquering of shine.

No more clueless party

What's here to think about, everything was so much simpler when we were young, we were getting drunk, massively drunk, and use music as a catalyst, the one with the weakest complexion was succumbing first to the rave, bringing all the others in his wake, plainly one purpose : get drunk... and whatever, but we had that link, we were all boys with a passion for rock music, now we are boring adults, dreadful to be the pinpoint of gossips for the next day, so reserved, leering at each others, suspicious, what is to say, is simplicity lost forever, we don't know each others, let alcohol do the talking, if you want to gather unfamiliar people you have to help them to drop their stiffness and fake playfulness, i loathe that taste, when we are all victims in sight, keeping our distance and never saying what we really think, i'm still drunk, i wanted to use the trick of alcohol, but that doesn't work alone, without a link, i wanted to go in the center of the room and shout "damn, people get moving", tool - parabola, that's my sound, follow me, that easiness is lost in an adult atmosphere, so it's pointless to reunite strangers, they are locked in their ideas, those type of gathering aren't for me, anymore, cigarettes make me want to puke, and alcohol only gives me a hangover.

I felt grieved for my brother, he didn't want of that solemn annoyance, i supported him this whole sunday, he put so much pressure on himself and concealed it to everyone, he took the responsibility of people's fun, he's a sensitive guy, like me, i'm sure.

Learn to fly

I point out the dense woods under the big sky, and say how i used to scramble in the vegetation nearby my parents' house when i was short and fearless, dirtying my clothes walking through streams in the lost, wild areas; she follows me on that path; the holly, spurting everywhere on a mat of chiseled rotten leaves, scratches our jeans at the height of our calves; here comes a deeply channeled ditch with, for me, coming back from my memories, the so familiar trunk tilted over it, ivy and moss running along like veins and hair; swift, and free again, i rush, tiptoe on that half bridge, surfing it, reliving the thrill of the void, i watch afar from my perch, proud, dominant, sure of my long time exercized abilities, emulating a nimble and smooth feline; she stays on the bank, "you make me feel dizzy, she says", i turn to her and she really looks sick, "but, i reply, you're not on that tree, i am, you are taking my feeling, you are out of yourself, losing yourself, because to say the truth, i'm feeling very fine!", hanging, in mid air.

You should search for your own feelings, and don't copy others', that's how you let yourself used by them, and abuse yourself. If someone expresses a feeling towards you, be sure it's his own only, and probe yourself, know yourself, to be sure about what are your own feelings.

"You hid all your life but at least you lived in yourself, my actions were never really mine as i transposed and let myself controlled by others' feelings, and that is worst!", that's what she said.

It's time for us to get down and act truly for ourselves. All of us.

Nude the back on the floor
twitching on a curly white moquette
the back of the hands filling the eyes sockets
as to impede any tears
frowing, moaning, begging
"i want to touch you, please, touch me"

shards of positivism

I won't get back all those years, what can be done now, i want to love, ...me ...others ...someone

I'm not the most beautiful man on the planet, not the richest, not the most righteous but i have my qualities and at least i'm learning to be myself, i know myself
more than most.





















I know why i feel so good with you, it's because with you i feel i can put all my imagination in my communication freely and safely.

... and maybe in the end you'll discover that it's with me you feel the more yourself, the more happy.

or not

i wish at least you'll be sure.

and choose clearly.